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6:31 a.m. - 2004-04-06

SCREW YOU, DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME

I have probably said it before but I'm too damned lazy to go back and check.

Daylight Savings Time is a hellacious bitch when it comes to children.

Since we had to set the clocks an hour ahead, Andrew isn't ready for bed at his normal hour because it's NOT his "normal hour".

And the same goes for getting up in the morning. He's not willing to get up an hour earlier than he's used to.

Whatever you do, don't try explaining Daylight Savings Time to a kid.

ME: "It's time for bed, Andrew."

ANDREW: "No."

ME: "Yes. It really is time for bed."

ANDREW: "The sun is still up."

ME: "Yeah, I know. But it's time for bed."

ANDREW: "Why?"

ME: "Daylight Savings Time. Somebody invented it to fuck with kids' heads."

ANDREW: "Why?"

ME: "It's supposed to give the farmers an extra hour to tend to their crops in the summer."

ANDREW: "What are farmers?"

ME: "People that live in the midwest."

ANDREW: "Why do I have to go to bed because the farmers want to keep working?"

ME: "Because it's 9:00"

ANDREW: "What about the farmers?"

ME: "What ABOUT the farmers?"

ANDREW: "Are they going to bed too?"

ME: "Look. Fuck it. Stay up all night if you want. I'm going to bed, dude."

I really wish I had become a father when I was younger and still had the energy and mental capacity to deal with them.


Last night was the final night for the Easter play.

Nothing eventful happened.

I reached into my bag of acting tricks and threw out a lot of looks of astonishment every time Jesus walked past me.

Other than that, it wasn't that memorable.

And after typing that sentence, I realize it was even less memorable than it actually was.


I've got two job interviews today.

Both of them are for temp positions.

I guess technically they're "orientations" and not job interviews.

The temp agencies in town look at my resume and are wondering why I want temp work.

I've tried to explain that I have my own business that I'm trying to boost on the weekends and need the time to focus on that.

What I REALLY want to say is that I need a part-time gig during the day that I don't need to be all that serious about that still pays me.

But when you tell a potential employer "I don't plan on taking this job seriously at all" they tend to get all wishy-washy about hiring you.

I speak from experience, kids.

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