Comments:

IshKabibil - 2004-12-21 07:58:22
Keep sleeping like a baby UB!! There's a huge difference between spanking and beating and a good spanking will not kill Andrew and I bet he thinks twice before he draws back that hand to you. Hell, you live in Bama, you could have swatted him in the Dentist's office and no one would have looked at you cross-eyed, hee! At least you didn't get the dreaded belt (dun-dun-dun)!! Keep warm!!
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mo - 2004-12-21 08:11:10
Spanking. It happens. Sometimes those threats of calling of Christmas seem very abstract to someone who's learning how the world works. Hopefully, it will discourage the kid from hitting the big people around him. Be good UB.
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Mommyof3 - 2004-12-21 08:19:49
[wild applause for Uncle Bob] Bet he doesn't do it again. (Daddyof3 seconds that.)
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Andy - 2004-12-21 08:43:59
Not having kids and being complety ignorant of child rearing, FWIW I think it was more than appropraitley to spank him. I honeslty shudder to think what would have happened to me if I even raised a hand to my parent. A spanking would be the minimum...
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Kelly - 2004-12-21 08:51:11
You go, Daddy. My children have NEVER hit me, and I believe it's cuz they know if they do, they will wake up on the floor, staring at the ceiling, wondering what the hell happened and how they ended up down there. I can't tell you the last time I spanked either one of my kids. And good for you for taking care of that in PUBLIC. Alot of kids will pull all sorts of crap when they're out in front of strangers cuz they think Mom and Dad won't do anything for fear of being arrested. My kids know...if you're bold enough to pull that garbage in public, I'll take care of it in public...and as far as getting arrested...bring it on. A room with a bed and 3 squares a day that I don't have to cook...that's a VACATION!
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Skeeter - 2004-12-21 09:00:41
In my experience as a child of parents who spanked, all you need to do is give him one good whoopin' and the threat of getting another one like it will be good enough to keep him from being an asshole for quite some time. It's the parents who put out cigarettes on their kids' arms that give the decent parents a bad name.
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BigPimpinMBA - 2004-12-21 09:02:15
Good to hear that I'm not the only one going through this shit with their kid and that there is another Dad who validates my approach to discipline.
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IV:XX - 2004-12-21 09:03:27
Tsk, tsk, UB. Resorting to spanking? -- GOOD FOR YOU! My boys both went through that phase, but they quickly learned that DADDY HITS BACK! When they hit me I would immediately hit them back in a like manner. (Not hard.) And give them the 'look'. That shit stopped real quick.
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Sarah - 2004-12-21 09:07:07
My parents spanked me and my sister, and other parents always told them what wonderful, well-behaved children they had. We did something bad once, we got spanked. If we were dumb enough to do it AGAIN, we got spanked AGAIN, but that rarely happened. We learned quickly, and I bet Andrew did, too. Way to go! *big thumbs up* :)
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Barb - 2004-12-21 09:11:28
Way to go Uncle Bob. My teenager acted up and I threw him up against the garage wall, threatening to take him out of this life. You know what? The BS stopped. I was ready to kill him.
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Tenshi - 2004-12-21 09:29:55
*ten hands of applause* (as if I can create that many by myself) Congrats. Bet the little munch got double-frusterated for that one. Didn't he even cry? :O Or did you just raise a tough one?
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Kaziah - 2004-12-21 09:37:15
Bob - babe - you missed out on #1 for the wombrobbingbitch: "I'm not really an obstetrician, but I did stay at a holiday inn express last night"
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Bing - 2004-12-21 09:39:17
too bad you didn't name the tyke Cletus. Then when he pulled that slapping thing you could have told him, "Cletus, go and cut yoreself a switch". Next question UB, what's up with the girly face slapping? Doesn't he know he's supposed to punch you in the face?
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warcrygirl - 2004-12-21 09:40:47
Good on you, UB! Unfortunately, it does sometimes hurt me more than it hurts them: I've have carpal tunnel and if I use my hands I can fuck up my wrists something fierce. So...I use a wooden spoon. It's lightweight, portable and is aerodynamically designed for threatening. AND..I don't have to pull down pants to get a good whuppin' in. I don't waste time with time outs, I just announce "I'M GETTING THE WOODEN SPOON!" and they usually straighten right up.
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Susie - 2004-12-21 09:40:59
Good job, UB. Andrew was testing his boundries. The worst thing you could have done was demonstrated that they were shaky and not there. I don't see a thing wrong with how you handled that situation. On a humorous note, that first bare butt spanking is pretty enthralling in a warped, parental sort of way. I'll bet his eyes nearly flew out of their sockets with the new sensation. HELLO ANDREW!!!!
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Pischina - 2004-12-21 09:50:05
Absolutely good for you and I'm glad you're not getting any shit for it. A couple good swats never hurt anyone.
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HRT - 2004-12-21 10:25:49
Here Here!!!

Disciplinary spanking: Good
Child Abuse: Bad

Look for my book coming out next spring:

Tales of White People, Beating their Children™
and other tales of good advice ©
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wisdom - 2004-12-21 11:05:22
You are all missing it. The phrase "this is going to hurt me more than it is you" simply means that it is going to be emotionally hard on the parent, not physically. you all made me laugh
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Spam-n-eggs - 2004-12-21 11:54:03
Growing up in a shithole South American country, my parents gave me the obligatory ass-whippins, with the added threat of letting "los niches" (filthy, theiving, glue-huffing, kite-flying street urchins) do it for them.
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Plop Phizz - 2004-12-21 12:46:20
I have two stepsons who are 19 and 20 so the spankings are considerably more difficult to implement. I agree with the parenting philosophy of "Let the kids feel some pain as a direct consequence of their errors, as long as it doesn't cause them or other any serious damage." Otherwise, how will they ever learn from their mistakes and become better people? -- P.P.
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liss - 2004-12-21 12:58:29
at least you did something about him misbehaving. not too drastic, but you got your point across. and afterwards you thought about it enough that you took the time to write about it. thats so much better than just ignoring him and putting him on adderall or ritalin or what have you.
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Squeakster - 2004-12-21 14:06:18
I'm for spankings too when justified. I think that's the key. The undeserved or over the top punishments are the ones that start the serial killers on their march to destiny. Hey, but on a lighter note... I thought this post was going to take a weird comedic turn right after UB described himself in the van with Andrew's pants down.
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Megan - 2004-12-21 14:07:34
I thought it was just my parents that spanked children, or threatened with the Wooden Spoon. I got the threat of the fly swatter too, that thing hurts! Make sure you get rid of the spoon later on though, because they will beat eachother with it later on. Personally I think teenagers are a lot worse, so why can't you just beat the hell out of your teen? I will never put up with the crap I pulled on my mom. And UB - spankings work, trust me.
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Aranel - 2004-12-21 14:26:23
Dude, my parents spanked me as a kid and I think I'm better because of it. My cousin's son spent all of Christmas dinner this past Sunday running around pinching people. He got me once on the boob... Man, I was cheering it on when he finally got his spanking. And you know what? After that he went and said he was sorry to everyone and then was the sweet little boy he *used* to be.
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warcrygirl - 2004-12-21 14:52:45
Megan, I've on Wooden Spoon #3: the first one was taken out to the backyard and broken in half; the second one just disappeared. Now I just grab the first spoon out of my caddy that I can get my hands on. My boys are too busy going kung fu on each other to worry about weapons.
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Chaos247 - 2004-12-21 15:00:37
Whoohoo!!!!!! I am all for the non abusive beating of a child!! It is good to know that everyone here still believes it is not "damaging" the child or showing them that violence begats violence. Seriously, did any of us that got our ass whooped think even one time. Wow, Dad spanked me cause I hit him, that must make it alright! Hell no we didn't and I guarantee most of us didn't ever do it again if we even did it the first time!
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alex - 2004-12-21 16:15:12
Good for you, Uncle Bob. I'm all for spanking when appropriate and a bitch-slap from your 4 year old is definitely cause for a can of whoop ass.
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Dominic - 2004-12-21 16:38:43
Christ, the sycophants on your board are vomit-inducing... I think your actions are fine; if punishment through phyiscal action is considered the best and most legitimate action, as behaviour modification, then I'm fine with it. The dangers are when parents take out their own anger or aggression through physical action on their kids, or anyone else, as a release, as opposed to as the best option to influence their childrens' actions. This comment board seems to be made up of fawning arseholes.
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warcrygirl - 2004-12-21 18:46:14
Including yourself, I see. Don't be so hard on yourself, Dominic.
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Seattle Suz - 2004-12-21 18:47:17
I was an angelic older sister to 3 and could never understand why my mother would order me out to the backyard to "get your switch" off the tree. Our butts also broke several of the paddle ball toys. But I'm fine now...really grew into a decent adult.
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dominicsdominatrics - 2004-12-21 19:11:51
dominic, while obviously feeling left out and therefore lashing out, did make one good point. You didn't smack Andrew in the head for half an hour because you had a bad day at work and he asked for a glass of water. You quickly and efficiently spanked him on the rear because he slapped you in the face and was obviously in the throes of a hysterical tantrum out of which his system needed to be shocked. My mother spanked me. My dad beat me. Anyone who thinks spanking is child abuse has obviously never experienced child abuse first hand.
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Kay - 2004-12-21 20:08:21
Dominic you must be new here. This is the church of Uncle Bob and we do fawn and even WORSHIP his every word. We were talking about discipline not child abuse. I have experienced both in my childhood and I know the difference as well as most people. Now go eat some granola.
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WTF? - 2004-12-21 20:13:48
Jeez, Dominic did say "I think your actions are fine." I'm getting pretty skeeved out myself by the people on the board who are all like "Hell yeah!" "I am all for the non-abusive beating of a child"? Creepy.
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ibeejd - 2004-12-21 20:43:26
It was all about the wooden spoons in my house growing up. My mom had one of those ones with the little holes in it.....yowza! Let me tell you tho...one close up meeting with a bare ass connection and you think twice next time....it worked on me as a child and I see nothing wrong how I was raised. It never crossed the line into abuse.
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pk - 2004-12-21 20:53:00
WTF? is insane. Love the parenting talk, UB. The fetus snatching jokes, not so much.
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stella - 2004-12-21 20:59:14
I used to get spanked but only when I was really bad. A face-smack would have warranted one from my father, no doubt. Once when I hadn't been spanked in a long time, I asked for one. Like, literally asked for it (sounds kinda dirty now that I'm older. Ew). But anyway... big mistake. I forgot how much they hurt.
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Jenifgrr - 2004-12-22 01:00:59
Growing up, my brother and I had a competition going to see who could have mom break the most wooden spoons. Then she switched to plastic, damn her.
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Henna - 2004-12-22 05:22:20
My only advice is - if he's crying from the spanking don't spank him again while telling him to stop. He'll understand the hypocracy and resent you for the rest of your life. Hi Dad!
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Barry - 2004-12-22 07:37:23
Man,I was pleasnatly surprised to get that far down before I ran into a "Dominic",U.B. I figured there would be a "mamby pamby behaviour modifying,rod-sparing through verbal intervention,politically overcorrect" goofball post WAAAY before his.Immediate and consistent reaction following something like that??-right on,UB! My Dad did the ass whuppin' thing,and I do it on a calmer and more consistent level,which works wonders. Preachin' to the choir!
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Karen - 2004-12-22 08:35:42
My mom used the paddle from the paddle ball with us after we'd broken off the elastic and ball. I got so I'd hide them behind a bookcase in my closet. We'd be at the store and mom would say "who wants a new paddle ball?" and my brother and I were always looking at her like she was fucking nuts.
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nautile - 2004-12-22 09:12:27
Wooden spoon? Man, I wish my mom just used a wooden spoon. She was a teacher and she owned a big, one inch thick wooden paddle that was signed by all the students she had whacked with it. Ohh, the pain. All she had to do was mention that thing and we straightened up.
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WTF? - 2004-12-22 11:55:15
Barry, "mamby pamby behaviour modifying,rod-sparing through verbal intervention,politically overcorrect" OK, to begin with, it's "namby-pamby." Secondly, my dad used to beat the shit out of my brother, and he's still dealing with the emotional fallout (and he's not exactly "mamby-pamby" himself could probably kick most anyone's ass, but he's not a sociopath). I don't think spanking's wrong, but the orgiastic celebration on this board of the "beating" of children IS creepy.
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Ana - 2004-12-22 12:24:15
As I usually say: I never got spanked for no reason. No trauma.
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erica - 2004-12-22 13:08:15
Well..just to be objective, every child-rearing book in the universe will tell you that you don't teach a child to stop hitting by hitting them. This is why I threw them all away. Good job, UB.
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lorrie - 2004-12-22 22:55:08
By hitting that poor little child, you are teaching him that violence solves problems. (takes hit off crack pipe) Wait a minute! Violence ACTUALLY DOES solve problems! Like stopping kids from being brats from hell!!! Seriously, you did the right thing..
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whyme63 - 2004-12-23 14:17:56
I don't want to be "orgiastic" in my support of UB's actions, but I think as spanking was in order on this occasion. Andrew now knows that it hurts when you get smacked. He needed to learn that.
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Alex - 2004-12-24 11:12:19
Good one, I've watched my uncle hit my cousins, oh, sorry, 'spank' my cousins, and he really took out his anger on them because he felt like they were insulting him by being bad, but then again, I've seen another cousin who's mom was into the whole 'spare the rod' thing and he's an ASSHOLE who hits his mom on a regular basis (He's 13) so, yeah, I still say disciplinary spanking is the best. Of course, then there's child abuse...
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Squeakster - 2004-12-24 13:20:43
As usual, UB's comments section takes on a life of its own. How did we get from spankings to beatings and child abuse? Reading, naysayers, is FUN-damental but UNDERSTANDING what you have read is crucial before commenting. IMHO
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