Uncle Bob will lay the smack down on your candy ass if you're less than 18 years old and sneak in here. I was a green beret in World War II. I can snap your neck like a baby kitten. And DON'T think I won't. Have a great day!!

NEVER SNEEZE OUT OF YOUR GENITALIA

Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick...my dick hurts.

Yesterday, I was peeing, and I had to sneeze while I peed.

Well, I have a habit of suppressing my sneezes (not good). So as I peed, I suppressed a sneeze.

...That was a very foolish move, Mr. Bond.

I can't really put it into words, but the force that I had behind the sneeze had to be let out of my body somewhere. Since I didn't use the mouth, the force had to find another open area to leave.

Ummmmm....how about my pee hole?

The sneeze nearly crippled me. It felt like I peed a fireball. I'm SURE my pee hole reached four inches in diameter when that damned sneeze came out my dick.

The pain was overwhelming. Plus, there was urine EVERYWHERE at this point.

I tried to decide if I should mop up the urine or if I should pass out.

I mopped up the urine, frantically rubbing my lil' Bob, trying to get him to feel better and make the pain go away.

No such luck. Do you see a woman give birth and then 15 seconds later be ready to run a marathon?

Or even mop up a puddle of errant urine??

Nope. Because of the PAIN.

So, already I'm better than most women, because I just shot fire out my dick and STILL found the energy to clean up pee.

Now...everytime I pee, it feels like I'm trying to pee a turtle.

So...I'm trying not to pee.

Actually...I'm pretty sure this is a bladder infection. I've been sucking down Coca-Cola like it's going out of style lately and that ain't a cool thing to do to your bladder.

I know this because I've had this before.

But it was never brought on by my penis sneezin'.

Well Bob...I'm no doctor...but....

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