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2:19 p.m. - 2001-07-26

THE GOLFBALL STACKING CHAMPION OF THE WORLD

Here's something that's kinda sweet and kinda redneck at the same time. But we're talkin' about a funeral in Alabama, so go figure.

Anyway...my buddy Phillip who will also be a pall bearer in the funeral tomorrow called me just now to ask if I remembered how many golf balls our late buddy Brad could stack.

Y'see...Brad saw a show on TV once that said the World's record for golfball stacking...one on top of each other...was eight golfballs.

Brad wanted to be famous. So he decided that it was up to him to break that record.

After about a month of intense golf ball stacking, he had figured out how to stack two golf balls on top of each other.

He was ecstatic with that.

After more months, he would get up to four golf balls resting on top of each other after an hour or two of careful eye-hand coordination.

I remembered that there was one morning I took him to his favorite local radio station with his favorite morning deejays after he had called them and told them he could come on their show and break a world's record.

Morning deejays will do anything to fill up time.

So off we went to stack golf balls at the radio station.

For four hours, these guys talked about Brad while he was in the studio and pump him up. They talked about his life and everything and I'm sure it made for great radio, because they tried to promote him as a loser with plenty of time on his hands.

At one point, I took one of the guys aside and made sure that they understood that Brad wasn't all there mentally. He said they knew and were just having fun with him.

I think at one point, he got three golf balls stacked that morning. He was so excited, he hit the table they were on and they all fell down. So he had to start all over again.

I'm willing to bet that morning was one of the highlights of his life. Because for four hours, Brad was a star. He didn't mind that they were making fun of him because "that's what they do". They were his heroes and any kind of attention from them was good attention.

Anyway...

So Phillip called and I told him that if I recall correctly, there was one time that Brad stacked six golf balls on top of each other.

Phillip said he was going to go buy six golf balls, glue them together and put them on a marble base and then put it in his casket tonight at the visitation.

I said...make it eight golf balls. Then that way he can ALWAYS HOLD the world's record of eight.

I think it choked Phillip up when I said that because then he got quiet and said "That's a better idea."

So...he's going to do that tonight.

I hope it doesn't upset his Mom too much.


I swear...in due time...I'll start talking about something other than my buddy's death.

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