COUNT ON ME TO BRING VOODOO INTO THE CHURCH

If I ever held a contest to find "The Anti-Uncle Bob" this guy would be it.

Kind of a boring day yesterday.

We've decided that Andy's cutting a third tooth and that's why he's been such a cranky little freak-out boy lately.

He's constantly putting stuff in his mouth to chew on to alleviate the pain. Everything from remote controls to the dog's tail are not safe around him and his mouthful of drool.

Apparently he slept through the night. He slept with Susie while I slept in the guest bedroom.

With the door closed.

So I didn't hear a peep out of him. For all I know he could have screamed all night. I wouldn't be the wiser.

I have to do the Children's Moment at church today.

For those of you heathens who feel their flesh burn when they step inside of a church, the Children's Moment is when the kids of the church are brought up front and one of the adults tells them a story or does something that eventually holds a Christian message. Then we pray.

I'm going to make a purple cloth disappear.

Yep. I'll be the first one to do a magic trick for the kids.

It's a simple trick really, but effective. I basically put a silk cloth in my fist and it disappears.

Remind me to show it to you when we finally hook it up.

Anyway ... that purple cloth is JUST LIKE GOD.

Yep. Lemme explain.

Because even though we can't SEE the purple cloth, it's still there.

JUST LIKE GOD.

Even though we can't SEE God, He's still there, watching us and making sure we're safe and all that jazz.

I know, I know...it's lame.

Bite me.

The trick alone will be the highlight. The lame corrolation between magic and God will surely offend someone.

And my prayer that closes the Children's Moment?? Well ... I'm not a good pray-er. When I pray it's like "Hey God...watch out for my kid. He's a good kid. Watch out for him. Thanks God. Amen and stuff."

So here's what I've been working on ... hope ya like it:

"Heavenly Father...Just like the magic purple cloth, we know that just because we can't see you, that You are still there. You're watching over us every day to make sure that we do the right things and are good people and we thank you for that. It is in Your name that we pray... Amen and stuff."

So why am I so nervous??

I dunno. I'll live. This won't kill me.

I'm stressed.

My Biggest Rat campaign starts two weeks from tomorrow, and I haven't done anything to kick it into gear.

Today, I'm asking a woman at church to be my campaign manager. Her husband is retired military and she does mostly volunteer work with her time. I think she'd agree to do it, except her only daughter's getting married in May and she may be getting things prepared for that.

I dunno.

I'll ask her today. If she agrees to be my manager, than I can quit stressing. She'll take care of everything.

I've decided I'm going to do a letter writing campaign, a silent auction, have some local schools try to raise money for me with the class raising the most getting a pizza party, and I'm leaning towards a sock hop held at The Armory, which sounds like a military bunker, but it's actually a nice, roomy building.

I think I can raise some money doing all that.

I already got a check for $25 from a local banker guy. So you know...it's all good.

Well ... Mama and the baby are up ... it looks like Andy slept all night, so spirits are high around here this morning. I think I'll go spend some time with them.

Have a great day!

Check out the Anti-Uncle Bob!!

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HUDSON BROTHERS: "So You Are A Star"

When I was 11 years old in 1973, THIS was my song, baybeee. It has a very Beatlesque feel to it ... it's all about falling in love with a star. I think they mean "rock star" or "movie star", but it could mean a star in the sky as well. You know...if yer a perv that way...

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