current entry older entries message board contact
5:49 a.m. - 2005-12-15


There's at least four words in the English language that I can never pronounce correctly. They are (in no particular order):

1) "Chipotle"

2) "Worcestershire"

3) "Alzheimer's"

4) "Sorry" (According to my wife who's still pissed I accidentally threw away the Christmas card from her friend that moved away 10 years ago. The friend moved away 10 years ago. I accidentally threw the card away last week. Just wanted to clarify.)

I'm not much on female singers.

My boy Mattie Gee and I were talking about this the other day. While we're both huge music fans ... we shy away from female singers.

I was just reminded of why.

I just heard a Kate Bush song.

Kate Bush freaks my shit out.

She sounds like Glenda the Good Witch when she sings.

Take it somewhere else, Kate Bush.

You've screwed my appreciation for female singers something silly.

I cracked a tooth on a bone sliver in one of my chiliburgers from the other day.

As if the burgers didn't turn out bad enough, now they're causing me dental work.

Talk about a recipe gone bad.

Andrew has FINALLY gotten over his "Little Einsteins" obsession.

Now it's "Go Diego Go!"

Which means now he runs around the house thinking he's a chinchilla.

One of these days he's going to be a chinchilla who's a proud owner of a backhanded slap to the mouth because I'm sick of him running up to me, screaming "I'M A CHINCHILLA, DAD!!"


Now you're a BLOODY chinchilla, son!

Speaking of which, he's now calling us "Mom" and "Dad".

Mommy and Daddy are for babies and he's no longer a baby.

Except when he gets a backhanded slap across the teeth.

Then he's a baby of major proportions.

Ahhh ... they grow up so quick.

I need some bottled water.

I have some in the house ... it's just not within reach.


I got up and got it.

And you were never the wiser, huh?

My best friend from fifth grade called me last night to tell me he was in town until morning.

He called at 8:45 p.m.

I felt bad telling him that I had to bathe the boy and do Christmas cards and couldn't meet up with him.

I think he understood.

He just wouldn't stop crying for some reason.


31 comments so far
The last one/The next one

NEW!!!Come and write some BAD EROTICA with the cool kids!

My Diaryland Trading Card
Now go write a Suck Ass Poem�
Write me a note here.
Read my notes here.
Hey! Take the Uncle Bob Quiz!
What the hell! May as well take the wildly popular Uncle Bob Second Quiz too!
Thanks Diaryland
Designed by Lisa


Have you read these?

The End Of Uncle Bob - 12:28 p.m. , 2009-02-19

Losing Focus While Trying To Write A Blog Entry Is Cool. - 1:47 p.m. , 2008-12-04

Buck Up Junior, You Could Be Digging Ditches - 11:36 p.m. , 2008-10-31

That Sinking Feeling - 6:09 a.m. , 2008-10-28

Return Of The Karate Kid And His Slow Kitty-Lovin' Accomplice - 5:44 a.m. , 2008-10-22

Sign up for my Notify List and get email when I update!

powered by

Click on the button below to order the book "Never Threaten To Eat Your Co-Workers: Best of Blogs" featuring Uncle Bob.
You WON'T be sorry.


Read a random entry of mine.