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5:47 a.m. - 2006-01-17


When did Angelina Jolie become "Hollywood Royalty"?

Maybe I don't get out much, but I've never seen one of her movies ... mainly because she's in them.

That "Girl Interupted" movie ... all that did was inspire a legion of teenage girls to slowly saw their arms off with razor blades.

"Tomb Raider"?? I've got the original game on Play Station. I never got past her rolling around in the snow at the very beginning of the game. To me, I expected the movie to be little more than Angelina Jolie doing somersaults in a cave filled with snow. No thanks.

"Mr. and Mrs. Smith"? Okay ... here's the deal ... you two are a married couple who are secretly trying to kill each other. HA! And Angelina ... you have to seduce Brad in his trailer and break up his marriage which will really piss off the anonymous guy who used to write the fake Brad Pitt diary on Diaryland because there's no comedy gold in a fake diary like a real-life breakup.

That's it according to my records. That's all Angelina Jolie has done.


She also wore a vial full of Billy Bob Thornton's blood around her neck in order to prove her love when most people just order flowers.

Ah ... and who can forget when she played tonsil hockey with her brother at an awards show to prove her love for him.

Oh yeah. She's also been involved in a ten-year affair with this thing.

The woman is a bonafide freak-a-zoid.

Come on and wind her up.

We watched the Golden Globes last night for one single category.

Best Actor in a Comedy Series.

I was pulling like hell for Steve Carell from "The Office".

And was shocked as hell when he won.

He gave a great, hilarious thank-you speech. The best one all night.

I'm just so damned proud of him.

People ... if you aren't watching "The Office" on NBC Thursday nights at 9:30/8:30 central time, you are missing the best comedy on television.

It takes a few episodes before you finally catch on to the characters.

But the hour and a half of time learning the characters and their nuances will be worth it.

More and more people are watching it each week which gives us Office-heads hope because ... remember ... nobody really caught on to "Seinfeld" until its fourth season.

Watch it, people.

It's a Golden Globe-winning show now.

While I completely missed it on the actual day, I've been on Diaryland now for six years as of this past Sunday.

This is my 1,884th entry.

That's 314 entries a year.

And maybe three of those were mildly entertaining.

When I first started writing here, there were maybe 200 people on Diaryland.

Today there's over a million.

When I first started writing here, the word "blog" was not used to described what we were doing. These were "online diaries". Some people went as far as to call them "journals". Those were the cutting edge people.

Now ... millions and millions and millions of people have blogs.

And there's thousands of sites like Diaryland that give people the opportunity to have a voice amongst the internet.

But Diaryland was one of the first sites to do that.

Ummmmm ... all hail Andrew?!?

(Sorry ... it's taken me 30 minutes to write this little bit while dealing with things around the house and I'm not as jazzed about writing about my stay at Diaryland as I was 30 minutes ago. Just hail Andrew.)

Speaking of Andrew (not the Diaryland God), my son is going to the dentist today to get two fillings.

He doesn't know this yet.

He hates the dentist.

I'm just glad I won't be in the room when he sees a needle coming towards his mouth.

Those dental hygienists have their work cut out for them.

Susie seems to think he'll be able to go to school after all this.

I think he'll be too traumatized.

Which explains why she's taking him to the dentist and I'm going to work and hiding under my desk until tomorrow.

Anyway ... why the hell do you get fillings put in baby teeth?

The kid's five ... these teeth will fall out in a year or two.

Susie says that his gums will be affected by the rotting teeth and that's why he gets fillings ... to protect his future teeth.

I think Susie's got a screw loose.

But I don't dare tell her that.

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