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09:21:53 - 2000-10-27



First off, an apology to those who took something I wrote yesterday in a different vein than how I intended for it to come out.

I mentioned that Riot 718 had said in Diaryland Chat that she didn't "get" me or that I was a "loser".

She NEVER said I was a loser and the only thing she didn't get is how I could manage to get so many hits each day.

Naturally ... I sit at my computer for 13 hours and hit "Refresh" over and over again until I get the amount of hits that appease me.


THAT was a joke as well.

Anyway ... I was just playing with the Riot Grrl. It was a joke that got blown out of proportion and the things I wrote yesterday (which have since been removed from the entry...serial killer rule #32...always remove any incriminating evidence as quickly as it begins to incriminate)have been removed from Diaryland and thrown in the cyber wastebasket.

I re-read what I wrote in the entry and could imagine how some would interpret what I wrote as a malicious attack on Riot and that I was encouraging the "Army" to send her hate mail.

A) Don't send Riot hate mail.

B) Click on her link above to read this crazy gal's take on the whole affair.

It seems only she and I were in on the joke.

So ... sorry if I sent off the wrong vibes yesterday to anyone. I'm not interested in flame wars with people I actually like.

And for the record ... both Riot and I STILL have no idea why I get the amount of hits that I do. I guess Diaryland's getting bigger.

Hell if I know.

To be honest ... I have found out in the last nine months that there's more to life than being a hit whore for this site. I appreciate each and every person that stops by here each day and enjoys what I'm writing every morning ... but it's nothing that I'm really working at anymore.

To be MORE honest ... I have well over three million people a month reading my professional stuff. Uncle Bob is a drop in the bucket compared to that. This is just a journal, peeps. I've been keeping journals for 20 years. This is my second cyber one. I don't look at it as anything more than that anymore.

...The content should obviously point that out...


But smooches and hugs to the Riotster. She's been a real angel and has a cute lil' diary that will make ya chuckle. Check her out.

...And I'm now her "nemesis". THAT really makes me giggle.



Susie has her doctor's appointment today. We're both keeping our fingers crossed that she's at least dilated some. If not, I plan on asking the doc for a stick or crooked tree branch to see if maybe I can get her to dilate manually.

To describe the mood of our house as "giddy" would be an understatement.

We're positively giddy. That's neither under or over stating the word.

We've picked next Thursday as the day we want to have labor induced, and hope to give birth a week from today.

Of course, that could change at the drop of a hat. Baby Andy could decide he's had enough of Wombville and purchase a one way ticket to the birth canal at any given moment, throwing all our plans out of whack.

If that happens, I will take it as a sign that this kid is going to grow up defying me. Therefore, I'm going to whisper to the doc minutes before his arrival that when it comes time to slap the kid's butt to get him to breathe to REALLY whale into him. You know ... put the kid over his knee and just WHALE THE TAR outta him.

Heh heh heh.

Whale the tar outta him. I sound like my grandfather.

You know...while he was still alive.

If I was going to do an impression of my grandfather now, it would sound more like:


He's dead now, y'see...


I TRIED to interview our sheriff yesterday. That man has the charisma of a dead owl.

The three or four things that he did say were good quotes, and luckily there were two other men involved with the interview so a good story will come out of it.

But man ... I almost asked the sheriff "Whassamatta?? Cat got yer tongue??"

Which probably wouldn't have been too cool since he had a pistol and I didn't.

Anyway...they were there to talk about the Alabama Sheriff's Boys and Girls Youth Ranches.

These are ranches where children that have been abused can go live and they become a family out on the ranch.

I've gotta was the first interview I've conducted in ten years where I got a bit misty eyed.

Some of the stories of these kids are incredible. Horrible parents, horrible living conditions ... tears my heart up just to think about the things that were said in that office yesterday.




I found out the other day that Mighty Big TV is going to be featured in the Internet section of next week's Entertainment Weekly.

This is kinda cool, because I ... I....I ....ummmmmm...I help Brad Fuckin'Pitt write his reviews of "Ed" on occasion for that site.

Brad and I are TIGHT, don't ya know??

We share a lot of the same writing techniques and skills and hairdressers, so it's only natural that there's a mutual admiration between us.

Anyway...Brad's really excited about the EW write-up and I'm excited for him. It's not like it's going to mention Brad himself ... but it's cool that a site he writes for will have magazine exposure.

Then again...the site was featured in a Time article earlier this summer. So the site's doing well for itself.

Go site!!


Y'know...when I wake up in the morning, I have a spectacular demonstration of bedhead resting atop my head.

I just checked it out. I look just like Keith Richard on a good day.

My bedhead is so freakin' awesome.



Which period of your life so far was the most rewarding for you?

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Have you read these?

The End Of Uncle Bob - 12:28 p.m. , 2009-02-19

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That Sinking Feeling - 6:09 a.m. , 2008-10-28

Return Of The Karate Kid And His Slow Kitty-Lovin' Accomplice - 5:44 a.m. , 2008-10-22

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