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08:57:33 - 2000-09-19


If ever there were a time when I didn't feel like updating this diary ... today would be the day.

I had to DRRRAG myself out of bed to get here this morning. Usually, I bound out of bed like an antelope on speed but this morning I'm'a draggin'.

And I have no idea why.

Well ... I guess I do.

For the last few weeks, Susie comes home from work, eats dinner and then passes out wherever she may be. Kitchen table, couch, toilet, it doesn't matter. She's out like a light.

I realize this is because of the baby and not that she's seriously sick. I'm not as stupid as some people would want you to believe.

Then she usually wakes up from her nap by 10 p.m. and she's refreshed and ready to rock.

...Which means she lays in bed with the lamp on, reading or flipping through the TV stations while I TRY to sleep like a normal person.

She says it's God getting her ready to be a mother.

I say it's God punishing me for marrying a psycho.



In case you couldn't tell...I don't have much news to offer you from my day yesterday.

My intern, Kim and I went to a press conference yesterday where the "Teacher of the Year" was named from Alabama. What are the criteria for "Teacher of the Year" in the state of Alabama?

*She must have refrained from having sexual relations with any of her students throughout the entire year.

*She must be able to recite the entire alphabet without cheating.

*She must be able to add and subtract.

So anyway...the press conference is being held outside.

In the sun.

Kim had just finished telling me how incredibly shitty she felt, like she was coming down with some sort of flu bug.

I told her all we had to do was get to this press conference, take a few notes and pictures, and I would send her home for the rest of the day but count it for an entire day.

Am I a nice guy or what?

She seemed to think so. Work an hour and get six hours credit. Whooooohooooooo!!

We get to the press conference at 8:40. The conference was to begin at 8:45.

At 8:45...nothing.

At 9 a.m....nothing.

By the time 9:15 rolled around, many of the men had taken off their coats and loosened their ties, as we all stood and waited in the hot sun for Teacher of the Year to show up.

At 9:25, the organizers of the press conference explained that the Teacher was apparently lost.



Just as they were telling us all to pack up and go back to our offices, the teacher showed up.

All smiles.

And taking a cue from me ... NO apologies.

She merely said that she thought she was supposed to be at another building, not this one.

No "I'm sorry, guys."

She just showed up and stared at the new car that she won for being Teacher of the Year.

Now then ... I actually thought she had won a car.

No. That's just what you're SUPPOSED to think.

She actually won the USE of a new car for one year. After that one year, she had the option of buying the car.

That kinda sucks, if you ask me.

Even when you're giving a car to an idiot who can't even find the right building that she's supposed to be at and doesn't apologize for being 45 minutes late.

Man, I'm tired. I've gotta go lay down. Sorry this entry is so utterly boring...but sometimes ... nothing exciting happens to your old Uncle Bob and...


EAT ME!!!!



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Have you read these?

The End Of Uncle Bob - 12:28 p.m. , 2009-02-19

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That Sinking Feeling - 6:09 a.m. , 2008-10-28

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