THE ONE WHERE UNCLE BOB DIDN'T GET THE AMOUNT OF SLEEP IT NORMALLY TAKES TO CHURN OUT AN AWARD-WINNING DIARY ENTRY

WORD OF THE DAY: "Kerplunkitty". As in "I'm feeling soooo good...I feel completely and utterly kerplunkitty."

You know...this world would be a much better place if we all started using my made-up words on a more regular basis.

Sooooo...Satuhday!!

Our friends Patricia and Ehab made it into town yesterday. Man...they are just the coolest couple in the world. And I'm not just saying that because there's a chance they may end up reading this diary sometime over the weekend when we finally get bored enough to wander over to the computer and turn it on.

You'll just never find two nicer people. End of discussion.

And Max!! He just turned one and is cute as a damned button!!

Now then...who decided buttons were cute??

My guess is that phrase originated in the 1930s during the great depression when everything was pretty scarce.

Some guy sitting at a table by himself, scratching his head and saying "Cuter than a slice of moldy bread?" Nope. "Cuter than a cigarette butt?" Nahhh. "Cuter than a pail of dog shit?" Uh-uh.

WAIT!!

"Cuter than a button!"

EUREKA!!

Also...why the hell was "Eureka!" ever admitted into the list of goofy expressions??

Alas...I digress....

THERE'S ANOTHER ONE!! Alas...I digress... WTF???

I cooked some DELICIOUS ribeyes last night...baked potatoes, sauteed mushrooms & onions, corn on the cob, garlic rolls and pasta salad.

Never got around to frying the mushrooms...but hey...mushrooms made their way onto the table in sauteed fashion, so all was not lost in mushroom land.

Can you tell I have very little to say today???

...I thought so ...

We're going to go check out my boy Mattie Gee's band The Spicolis today in their world debut on the steps of the State Capitol building around noonish.

If you go to the above link, you can download MP3s of their stuff...check out a photo of the band (Mattie Gee is on the right...the guy with no shirt on...and the farmer tan)and it will almost be like you're there on the steps with me!!!

...Well...not really. You'll be in the cool comfort of your home, while we're standing out in 100+ degree temperatures pretending to enjoy their rendition of "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang.

The event is some rally for people with disabilities. So I'm expecting my boys to rock out, followed promptly by a shitload of touching stories about disabilities.

He told me they HAVE to change the words from "Celebrate good times, COME ON!!" to "Celebrate ADA, COME ON!!"

ADA=Alabama Disabilities Association. Or something like that.

Speaking of which...the guy in charge of publicity for ADA is a local TV news anchor here in town who called me yesterday to see if I'd come cover the event today.

I said sure. This news anchor has been around for years and is held in high esteem.

The news anchor then starts telling me how much he likes my column...blah blah blah and THEN asks...

"Do you still have your website up??"

*gulp*

Now then...I don't mind YOU reading this. That's right...you there sitting in that chair waiting for me to say something halfway funny.

BUT A LOCAL TV NEWS ANCHOR?!?!?

Uh-uh.

No way.

I don't want the guy that interviews the Governor twice a week to be reading my thoughts on my inlaws, punctuated with several F-words.

Apparently ... he was talking about my OLD website that I had on Angelfire.

The one where I posted a series of photographs that I called "Fat Naked People".

The one where I wrote a series of exposes all about the troubles I've had off and on with my penis over the years.

That one.

The one that 98% of you guys never saw because it was before I joined this GREAT COMMUNITY WE LIKE TO CALL ....

....Diaryland...

May I just say that Angelfire can choke on my chubby??

Thanks.

Innyway...that's about all the news I've got for ya. Sorry I was soooooo....ummmmm....boring today.

I'm sure I'll have some exciting stories to tell ya tomorrow.

I'm just sure of it.