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6:14 a.m. - 2004-11-02

VOTE OR DIE, BITCH! DIE!!!


Remember ... today's the day you either vote or P. Diddy will come to your house and kill you.

I mean ... technically it's your decision, but P. Diddy has shot people in the past and gotten off the hook over it, blaming it on his bodyguards and other rappers.

So I'm voting today.

Just because I don't wanna have to answer the door and have a smug P. Diddy standing on my front porch with a long list in his hand of non-voters, checking me off and then popping that series of caps in my ass.

Vote Bush!

(I'm kidding)



Some of you wanted pics of Andrew in his Halloween costume, which I posted one last week, remember? He was dressed as Elmo??

I figured I'd go ahead and post some outtakes from that photo session.

It's kinda like a DVD with outtakes and extended scenes.

Aren't you excited?!?

Huh?!?

Yeah.

So here you go ...

Andrew doing his Macaulay Culkin "Home Alone" pose.

Andrew laughing at something ... check out the fangs on the kid.

An unflattering pose, but it's all I've got. Sorry.



Speaking of the kid, today's his 4th birthday.

It's a really strange birthday because ... well ... first it's overshadowed by the election.

Second, we were planning on throwing him a birthday party this coming weekend, but we've slacked off and didn't invite anybody and to me, now it's too late to tell people "Rush out and buy my kid a gift and then bring your kids over here on Saturday and give me the gift for my kid and I'll give you a goodie bag filled with the candy we didn't give away on Halloween."

So he's not getting a birthday party this weekend which is okay with him since he pretty much doesn't like other kids in his house playing with his toys anyway.

And Susie has her Tuesday night Bible Study thang going on tonight so she won't get home until 9:30 or 10 so we can't celebrate his birthday today.

And this past Sunday ... two days ago ... we gave him his big birthday present ... a new Schwinn bicycle.

He would NOT get on it. It's "too big" is his excuse. It's a 16" bike which is supposed to be the right size for a 4 year-old ... he's just nervous because he doesn't like sitting on the seat and not being able to have his feet touch the ground.

So that's $60 down the drain.

Although, to be fair, he did push the bicycle across the street once we gave it to him and went and played on the neighbor's swing set, leaving the bike unattended in their driveway.

Fucking kids.



So anyway, there's still a few more presents to give him, but I have no idea when to give them to him. We were holding on to them for a party this weekend, but that's a bust.

Susie will kill me if I give him presents tonight after school without her being here. But is it MY FAULT that she views her Bible Study as more important than her son's birthday??

I think not.

I could always hold on to the gifts until Christmas.

Fuck it.

I'm giving them to him tonight.

Sorry Mom.


I mean ... all I've got is the new Baby Einstein DVD, a Dora The Explorer CD and a remote control truck left to give him.

So it's not like she's missing Christmas.

And I just asked and she said she was cool with me giving him his gifts tonight.

So there ya go.



I'm a real man and I will admit ... I have cried during every single episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition that I've seen.

My GOD! That show is a tearjerker. It's not all hammering and sawing.

If you haven't seen it ... try to catch it and TRY TRY TRY not to shed a tear.

It's my challenge to you.



So don't forget ... go vote today.

And if you're too young to vote, steal somebody's ID and vote.

It's the American Way, baby.

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