IF YOU EVER FELT LIKE SKIPPING AN ENTRY, HERE'S YOUR CHANCE

I really only wanted to type that because to the best of my knowledge, I've never opened up an entry that way.

Amazingly, I trudge through the day just fine, pissing everyone I meet off in my wake.

I go to bed at 9:30 and read until 10:30 when I shut out the light and promptly fall asleep.

I guess five hours of sleep is my norm.

Stick that in your Uncle Bob Book O' Trivia.

She went on a job interview on Tuesday and afterwards came running over to my office babbling incessantly about how well the job interview went.

They're offering her more money and a 40-hour work week where she's working 60-80 hours now.

Last night she got a call from the guy who interviewed her, wanting her to come in Friday for a second interview in order to meet the President of the company.

The guy she interviewed with said that the second interview is a "formality" and a "piece of cake".

That sounds good to us.

She's excited because she's tired of working the 7:30-10:00 p.m. shift six days a week.

I'm exaggerating of course.

Saturdays she gets off at 9 p.m.

Drunk Assed Jamie got his wife pregnant with their third child a month ago.

I called his house last night to get an extra ticket to Disney On Ice tonight for a friend of ours and spoke to his wife.

(I foolishly let him be in charge of distributing the free tickets that we got and he apparently left them in his truck for the last month)

"Did you hear the news?" she squealed.

"Yes! Congratulations!!" I said in my best high-pitched Southern Belle voice.

"Jamie's not too happy about it," she grumbled.

Which he's not. He's got his hands full with two hyper kids already and didn't want a third. They're struggling already and adding one more mouth to feed won't help matters.

"Is Jamie there?" I asked.

"Oh no!" she said. "He's out at the post office supervising the newspapers being shipped! He does that every Wednesday night! That's why he doesn't come in until noon on Thursdays! And you guys give him grief about it every week! He's working his tail off night and day!"

This poor dumb woman.

Jamie's told me repeatedly that Wednesday is his Poker Night out with the boys. They get so drunk that he's still drunk when he comes to work (at noon) on Thursdays.

Hence the nickname "Drunk Assed Jamie".

In order to get out of his fatherly duties, he tells his wife he has to go to the post office (or the printing press where the paper's printed) and will be there until midnight or so.

He normally buys me lunch on Thursday when he won a lot of money the night before.

And she thinks he's out at the post office supervising the mailing of newspapers.

Heh.

Those newspapers were mailed about nine hours earlier.

If she knew the truth, she'd beat him silly.

She's a mean woman.

I sure as hell wouldn't cross her.

It's not like I'm sponging off his poker winnings without paying the guy back.

Still haven't received it.

I checked the comments for the guy and they ain't pretty.

Quite a few people never received what they ordered from him and those that did ... their CDs and DVDs were scratched all to hell.

Some received Jewel Cases smeared in foreign matter (the guy said it looked like blood) and others received the wrong damned item.

So kids ... it pays to check out the person's reputation before ordering from them.

I'm sweating my order out until I get it.