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6:14 a.m. - 2005-10-11

IT'S MY PARTY AND I'LL CRY IF I WANT TO

Last year, the Mrs. and I organized a fairly successful block party.

About 60-75 people showed up including lots of people that don't even live on our block.

I played music, the kids sang karaoke, we had fireworks and wading pools and everyone dragged their grills out in front of our house to cook up whatever they felt like cooking and people went from grill to grill to sample the food.

I have to say ... it's probably the most successful party I've ever thrown where nobody got naked.

...So naturally, everyone was expecting a block party this year as well.

And here it is October and ... so far ... no block party.

So last Thursday, Susie called me at work.

"We NEED to have another block party this month," she stammered into the phone because, if anything, my wife is all about the stammering.

October is shaping up to be a very quiet month for me party-wise. I've got a Halloween party, some golfers' convention, a sorority party and a picnic for some doctors.

That's about it.

"Fine," I said. "Let's do it next (this) Saturday, October 15th. It'll still be warm but not too warm."

So I typed up the flyers to put on everyone's doors.

And last Thursday night, Susie went door-to-door handing the flyers out.

God.

This story is so fucking boring, isn't it?

It's like I'm dragging it out and explaining every single little detail to you in order for you to be shocked when the actual story takes a twist.

Gawwwwd.

You are going to be SO disappointed, my friend.

Therefore ... I'm giving you permission RIGHT NOW to go somewhere else and read someone else's blog.

It won't offend me in the least and honestly ... you won't be out of the loop with Uncle Bob's life either if you leave.

You ready??

Let's go ... go click on Annie. She just updated a few minutes ago and she's always got a hoot in there somewhere.

Howsa 'bout Jane? God knows she's probably worrying her fingers are falling off today or some other bizarre medical calamity.

(Love ya Jane ... with or without fingers)

No??

You wanna finish THIS story??

Fine.

You've been warned.

...So Susie takes out all the flyers.

THEN on Friday morning, Mattie Gee contacts me asking me if I can do a party on October 15th.

THE SAME DAY AS THE BLOCK PARTY!!!

(DUM DUM DUM DUMMMMMMMM!!!)

What to do, what to do??

Well, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to blow off the block party and go take the party making beaucoup bucks.

So ... as far as I'm concerned, the Block Party is now cancelled/postponed.

Wow.

I bet you never saw THAT twist coming, did ya??

Well hang on to your hats, kids ... it gets even better.

Last night, since the weather here was outrageously wonderful, I'm outside with the boy and we're playing in the front yard.

This is a cue for several other families to come outside to our yard and start hanging around and shootin' the poop.

So we've got about 10 adults hanging around in the front yard, all babbling about this and that when someone says "How's the plans for the Block Party coming?"

Oh.

"The block party is CANCELLLLLLED!" I blurt out.

Everyone looks so dour.

I explain that I got a party and since I got a party, there wouldn't be any music or karaoke or any of my delicious grilled delicacies to sample so ... no block party.

Well, guess what, Captain Fullofhimself???

The tables are turned on YOU!!

"That's okay," our British neighbor said in his British accent that makes me swoon in a strictly heterosexual way. "We can still have a party!"

The neighbors all agreed to keep the party going ... especially since they had already invited all these other people to the party.

So the block party will go on without the organizer.

I'm apparently not needed in order for people to sit in the street and eat hamburgers and ribs and talk amongst themselves.

Well damn.

Has anybody seen my ego??

'Cause it's gone.

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