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05:21:38 - 2000-01-21

I have now seen the world's stupidest man.

First off...I'm hooked on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire". Many of you here in the psychedelic world of Diaryland HAVE lives...I, unfortunately, do not. That's basically why I watch the show.

Those of you who saw it know who I'm talking about. I believe his name was Brian Endora. He won his little speed round to qualify for the million bucks and then, he thrust his cocky little fist in the air. "IN YOUR FACE, FELLOW CONTESTANTS!!!", that upraised fist seemed to say. "I'M GONNA BE A MILLIONAIRE!!!"

He sits down and Regis compliments him on his attire. The kid is snappily dressed ... for a game show host. He's about 25 years old and he's wearing like the bizarro-world suit that Regis is currently wearing. Same tie...different shade...same coat...different shade...etc.

Anywhoo...niceties are made ... this kid is informed of his three life lines ... and the $100 question pops up:

"In the nursery rhyme Little Jack Horner, Jack takes a pie, sticks his thumb in and pulls out a ......."

A) Dog

B) Blackbird

C) Plum

D) Little Jill Horner

Brian "The Most Ignorant Man on the Face of the Planet" Endora grins his cocky $100 grin and says "Regis, I know this one...it's blackbird."

I'm sitting at home and honest to God...I spat out my drink when he said that.

"He's not even going to get a fucking hundred dollars," I laughed.

My wife was yelling "Plum you idiot!!"

Regis gave the kid all the chances in the world to change his answer. The kid sat there with that shit-eating grin on his face the entire time, already spending that hundred bucks in his head on a bag of primo dope.

Regis did that face he always does when contestants finally lose ... but the face was slightly different because ... let's be honest ... NOBODY HAS EVER MISSED THE HUNDRED DOLLAR QUESTION.

"I'm sorry Brian, that was the wrong answer...The correct answer is 'Plum'."

Suddenly, this kid is just devastated. That bag of primo dope just fell in the toilet. He sat there in his chair like that was a warm-up question. You can just watch the sweat start building up and his face turning beet red. I think he wanted a recount. Then finally he said ...."Oh...I was thinking 'Four and Twenty Blackbird Baked in a Pie'."

Well ... no shit, Shermie. We thought you just went temporarily insane on us.

Regis has the guy forcibly removed from the stage and the show goes on as the audience giggles uncontrollably.

While at home, his friends were on the floor, rolling around and holding their sides, tears streaming down their faces with laughter roaring from their bellies.

Their friend was the biggest loser in the history of television.

I'm sure there will be other idiots who get up there and screw up the first question.

But none will be remembered like Brian Endora ...the world's stupidest fucking man.

Hey you....Check out Uncle Bob's House of Fun for pictures, bio and Macho Stud Stallions(TM).

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