ME AND AL ROKER...WE TIGHT

I had a dream that Al Roker was a childhood friend of mine.

That's pretty frightening when you think about it. First off...why the hell would I be dreaming about Al Roker? And second ... well ... there is no second...WHY THE HELL AM I DREAMING ABOUT AL ROKER?!?!

My baby has been voicing his approval of the Acme Hour on Cartoon Network every ten seconds for the last 30 minutes. He does this by hollering "AAAAAAAAHHH!!" at the top of his lungs, kicking his feet and staring intently at the TV screen.

This is the same way I voice my approval when I'm at a strip club, except I stare at the dancers, not a TV screen.

He's a chip off the old block, he is.

Had a day yesterday that never really got off the ground.

Went to church ... stayed there like 30 minutes afterwards so everyone could cough all over Andrew.

I'm like "If you're sick, you can see him from a distance."

But you can't say that at the church. There's a line of little old ladies waiting to hold him and kiss him and cough up lung cookies all over his clothes.

So Andy bathed in a barrage of errant germs for 30 minutes while I teetered back and forth like only an uncomfortable father wanting to protect his son from any illnesses can do.

We finally got home and took naps because Andy suggested it.

Susie wanted to go to the grocery store and Walmart, but it was just so damned cold and me and Andy were comfy at home. So she went by herself, leaving Andy for the very first time in the last month.

When she was getting ready to go, Andy was sound asleep in his car seat.

As SOON as she shut the front door behind her, his right eye opened slightly and he looked around like "Where's the milk lady?"

He then decided to wake up and check the place out. I swear...this kid will just sit there for hours and stare at a bookcase or fireplace or lamp.

Last night, he stared at the fireplace while I cleaned up a bit and ..and....and....

Well...I did a whole lot of nothin'.

Sorry...I've been dealing with the boy for the last 30 minutes and lost track of time and the dog's barking and it's daylight out and ...and...and....

I've got to get better about planning this Diary thing. I agree to watch Andy every morning from 4 a.m. on ... and most of the time he's asleep at that hour but today it was just ... PAY ATTENTION TO ME day.

He's nursing now ... so I can say this without him reading over my shoulder.

Anyway ... I've gotta walk the dog. Wasn't a whole lot of interesting junk to tell you about yesterday.

I caught bits and pieces of "The Simpsons" between entertaining Andy and cooking dinner.

Really ... I've got to leave. Maggie's just standing here about to wet herself.

Will try to update more later.

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QUESTION OF THE DAY

How do parents manage to maintain an online diary?