UNCLE BOB'S ARMY IS THE BEST ARMY IN THE WHOLE DAMNED WORLD

God bless the Uncle Bob army.

You guys...yeah...you make me feel special alright...

I KNOW I shouldn't have written that last entry. All I did was fall into that person's trap. They got a link from me ... I put them on the map ... and now their diary has gotten some attention.

And I wasn't going to retort. I was just going to let it slide.

I guess the part that pissed me off the most is how it made it sound like I prey on pre-pubescent girls and slide sexual innuendos their way.

That's slanderous, people.

A) I'm not a pedophile. I love WOMEN. And to be honest ... I like OLDER women.

B) I have NEVER made sexual innuendos towards children.

That's the part that made me sick.

Well...that and when this sick person attacked the Army.

Y'all are some of the sweetest people around. Y'all could tell that I was upset by this whole stupid thing and stepped in there with the right words to make me feel better.

As I said yesterday ... my only goal here is to bring a smile to people's faces. Not to get laid or make little girls fall in love with me and run away from home to come live with me, my wife and soon-to-be child.

I do have one challenge for the person who's behind this new diary. If I suck so bad ....PLEASE let me know which diary is yours so I can read a diary that DOESN'T suck as bad as mine.

I promise not to trash your diary, Suckmeister. I just REALLY want to see what your idea of a "perfect" diary is.

Are you up for the challenge, punk?

Will you reveal a face behind the diary like I have?

I seriously doubt it.

Because you're a coward. Hiding behind your new little diary, you think you're such hot shit, while your other pathetic little diary wallows in obscurity.

Maybe I DO suck in your opinion. That's fine. We all have our own opinions.

But I sure would like to see how great your diary must be. I'm sure it's the "Gone With The Wind" of diaries, huh?

And don't worry ... I won't make you part of my dreaded "army" once you reveal your original diary.

You fucking don't deserve it.

The ball's in your court.

Oh ... and for those in the Army that thought I may be behind this new diary to put a whole new spin on the diary...uh-uh. It truly is not my style to trash others, not even myself. Hell, this is two entries in a row where I've stepped out of the "Uncle Bob" persona and came to you as Jim. Serious as hell and all out of chuckles.

That should tell you I'm serious here.

Like I've said before ... I'm a mean spirited guy...but I'm not a mean guy. I like to tease people, pull pranks on people and generally wreak havoc with my friends.

But people know I'm just kidding.

I have an incredibly soft spot in my heart for children. And it just irritates the piss out of me that this idiot says I am a "lasicivious older man". It just makes me want to retch.

You don't know me, punk.

Don't pretend that you do.

I can take criticism. Hell...I thrive on criticism.

But defamation of character is a completely different ball game.

Alright...I'm tired of defending myself. My REAL readers know that I'm a nice guy and that's all that matters here.

I REALLY appreciate you guys signing the guestbook and sending emails and letting me know that you appreciate what I try to do here each and every single day.

If I can ever do anything for you people, don't hesitate to ask.

Y'all are the best.

I promise ya...the next entry will be testicle-splitting funny.

...Or ovary-splitting funny. Whichever you prefer.

And for those of you who have no earthly idea what I'm talking about here today ... go to my last entry written late yesterday afternoon.

Thanks again. I'm so lucky to have friends like you guys.

God bless you all.