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5:16 a.m. - 2002-04-16


This entry isn't your normal, Uncle Bob ha-ha fest. It's me, pissed off and desperate. Sorry for the lack of chuckles today...bear with me, I'll be back to normal soon.

First off, thanks for all the support you guys have lent in our decision to keep the dog in our family.


I AM taking her to the Vet today for a check-up and her annual shots. She's got some things wrong with her...her eye and arthritis are two things we can actually see bothering her. And I AM going to explain our situation to the Vet. And if he thinks it's in her best interests to put her to sleep, I think we're going to do that.

BUT...I can't really imagine him putting her to sleep now. Vets do not put dogs to sleep unless it's to put them out of their misery and I don't think the dog is actually miserable.

BUT...if her cancer is back, I'm having her put to sleep. This will be the third time she's had it and it's an expensive operation to have it removed. As much as I love the dog, I can't pay over a grand for another operation.

Anyway...we'll see...

Now then...on the in-law front...

Christ...I'm not sure I even want to go there...

Susie's sister-in-law, who works with Susie, told her that her Mom was telling her about keeping Maggie overnight and said that the real reason that they brought Maggie back to us was that "she wouldn't quit whining and howling" Saturday night. When the sister in law suggested that it was because they has left her outdoors in the middle of a thunderstorm, her mom's defense was "Well, we put an old shower curtain out there for her to crawl under."

Oh lovely.

They put an old, moldy shower curtain out there for the dog to bury herself under to protect her from the rain.

Hey...don't break your arm patting yourself on the back, Granny. You're already up for Samaritan of the Year....don't jeopardize picking up the award with a broken arm.

This infuriated Susie when she heard it. I already knew they had left her outside all night, her condition when she was brought back to us determined that. And I had a good feeling that the real reason they brought her back was that she cried all night to be let inside and that probably bothered them.

The part I don't get is that their house is as filthy as the backyard. What harm could it have done to have just put her in the kitchen,probably the cleanest part of the house (which isn't saying's still a deathtrap) and closing the doors to let her stay there? I guarantee you, she would have slept peacefully in there.


Susie called her last night, and Grandma didn't even mention Maggie.

But Susie said we wanted our money and we wanted it by the end of the day on Friday.

Grandma's answer??

"Well, I dunnoooo...."

That's where my blood pressure skyrocketed.

Apparently, Grandma has looked into getting a cash advance on her American Express card and it's a 20% interest rate.

Meaning if she borrows $6,100 to pay us back, she'll have to end up paying $7,320.

And she doesn't think that's a feasible option.

So what's her solution?

...Wait for people to give her money out of the blue and then give us that money when her money comes rolling in.

Okay...what's wrong with this picture?

First...we have no idea when people are giving her money and we have no idea WHY they're giving her money. For four years, people could have been giving her money. She gave us a thousand dollars in the last week and that's it. So no...that's not a feasible option in my book.

Second...SHE has no idea when and why she gets money. She just does. She won't explain to us why people are giving her money. I get the feeling that she finally found one "get rich quick" scam that actually pays her a few bucks every now and then. She has gambled away thousands of dollars on Multi Level Marketing scams and all this crap that people send via email ("Earn Thousands Watching TV!") that most people delete as soon as they see it.

She loses her ass every time and still hasn't learned her lesson.'s time for some creative solutions to help us get our money from her.

My solutions?? want to know MYYYY solutions?

First...bite the bullet Granny and get that loan from American Express. Sure, it will undoubtedly lead to her having to declare bankruptcy again. She blows all of her money on scams and then when she's completely out, she declares bankruptcy and lays low for seven years. I've already seen that happen once. But the fact is ... she came to Susie and begged for six grand for Susie's brother's "school loans". It's becoming painfully obvious that was a lie and she used the money for something else and I'm willing to bet that it was some scam that was too good for her to pass up so she got the money from us, whoever took the money from her skipped town and now she's conveniently hoping that we get tired of asking for our money back and finally give up on her.

Second...sell some of that crap of hers to pay for it. She has a china cabinet that her father made. It's nice. We have one too. It's probably worth a few hundred dollars but the sentimental value is priceless.

I don't care. Sell it.

Her car?? Sell it.

Her television and computer? Sell them.

Sell it all. When you get to $6,100 ... you can stop selling.

The woman needs to finally learn a lesson. And that lesson is you cannot squander your money away without paying a price. Her idea has always been to squander her own money away and when that's gone, go to her children and take their money and squander that away.

I do believe that on this...entry #997...I have finally gotten around to using the word "squander".

And not a moment too soon, huh?

Third...and this is probably the road where I don't have a pot to piss in, but it may be time to see a lawyer and sue her.

I don't really see where this will work. Because I was not involved with this whole scam from the beginning, Grandma did NOT sign any sort of contract or promise to keep paying us the money.

Legally, I don't think I have much to work with here. She came to us wanting money. Susie took out a loan and gave it to her with her promise that they would pay it back and they never did.

I've got a bunch of people that have known this story for a number of years. I have records where we borrowed the money and paid it back $250 per month. Her bank would surely have the records where she received the money and deposited it, if in fact she did that or if she just took the six grand to her bookie or drug dealer or whatever and gave it to them.

Regardless...we don't have any documentation that she ever said she would pay the money back.

Fourth ... we "divorce" her.

This woman divorced one of her sons (the semi-decent one) when he named his newborn son Daniel Robert.

...Robert is her ex-husband's name and the father of her children. It was a bitter divorce and his name is forbidden in her household.

Ever wonder why I use the name "Uncle BOB"???

...There ya go. There's many stories behind the name...but the fact that Uncle Bob has always been a mental slap in the face to my mother in law is one of them.

Anyway, the kid's name is Daniel. We all call him Daniel. Nobody calls him Robert.

But that destroyed the mother-in-law. So she wrote up a four page letter full of hatred toward her own son, saying he did this to spite her and how dare he give his son the same middle name of his father, blah blah blah.

They didn't speak for six months.

And believe it or not...the mother-in-law...would NOT hold that child for several years. She wouldn't even look at him at family functions.

This is the type of nutcase we're dealing with. Treating a child like shit because of his middle name being one of the most popular names in the English language.

Soooo...we "divorce" her.

What are the repercussions of this?

First, we probably never get our money. Then again, we probably never will.

Second, it's no skin off my back. I'd love to have a life where her mother never came in contact with us again.

Third...Andrew is by FAR her favorite grandchild. She has told us that. Her other seven grandchildren....they were spawned by in-laws that she hates.

I'm the only in-law that she loves dearly. Because I'm the only one who has never stood up to her and told her what a hateful, manipulative bitch she is.

I've always had enough respect for Susie to keep my mouth shut. For 16 years, I've kept quiet around Granny, while my fellow in-laws who married Susie's siblings have fought with her at least once, and in the case of Susie's sister in law...several times.

So Grandma takes it out on the grandchildren. Not to say she doesn't love them...she does.

But man...she is ALL OVER Andrew.

And to take Andrew away from her...and to take Susie away from her...that might be tough for her.

I'm not sure Susie wants to go this route. After IS her mother we're talking about. And we are talking about starting a rift in the family that would never be fully mended.

It's the dumbest decision out of them all. It's petty and self-serving and doesn't really accomplish anything except spreading heartbreak to mother and daughter.

But I don't know what else to do.

And I know this woman is capable of sinking to that level since I watched her "divorce" her own son. I read the letter she had written him, laughing my ass off the entire time at her blatant ignorance.

Personally...I just want my money and I want it peacefully. Option one of getting it on her credit card seems to be the only way. Susie did mention to her about her Coke-slurping brother looking into getting a loan from the bank he works at. Several years ago that wasn't an option because he didn't make enough money there. Now that it's been close to five years since all this happened, maybe now he makes enough where they would give him a loan of six grand.

I'm sure he won't look into such a loan. First off, it's embarrassing to be told by your employer that they don't pay you enough to give you a loan for six grand.

Second, he just doesn't give a shit and has the same attitude as Grandma ... don't mention the loan and maybe eventually we'll forget about it.


I hate 'em.

Alright...changing the subject drastically....

...What is it with all the young black guys these days??

I'm driving around town and it seems that at least one out of every two black guys I see driving around town has reclined their car seat all the way back to where it's touching the back seat and they're stretched out in the car, driving.

At the risk of sounding like an old fogey here...that's just plain dangerous, people.

While driving through rush hour traffic yesterday, I'd see several cars where it didn't look like anyone was driving them. Sure, I heard the latest DMX disc blasting out of the speakers like cannons...but I couldn't see anybody driving them.

Then I'd see a glimpse of the top of their heads in the back seat.

I just don't get it.

I'm SURE that some basketball player or rapper has been recently photographed sitting like this and it appeared in a high profile magazine, TV Show or movie and a few guys said " THAT'S cool! Stretching completely out in your car so that you're staring at the roof of your car and driving that way!" and started doing it. Then other guys saw these guys doing it and for some ungodly reason, they started doing it too.

So now, my city is overrun with these guys, tooling around town blasting their stereos and laying in the back seat of their cars, trying desperately to look cool when they're a menace to everyone else on the road because they can't see the road.

And please, save your breath...this isn't a racist statement. The only reason I brought up the fact that it's black people I see doing it is because it's black people I see doing it. The dumbass white kids haven't caught on to this cool posture yet. But rest assured, it's just a matter of time before the white kids with identity crises who think they're black because they listen to hardcore rap and say things like "Yo" and "Know wha' I'm sayin'?" a lot start reclining their seats and drive around town with their eyes fixated on the dome light inside their piece of shit cars.

I'm tired of it already and I've only noticed it starting within the last two weeks.

It's time for it to end.

It's just a matter of time before one of these kids is involved in an accident because they were doing backward somersaults into their back seat and not watching the road.

I'm going to the City Council with this one, dammit. If you're seen laid back in your car while driving, you're pulled over and fined heavily.

Works for me.

Once again...sorry this was about as funny as a baby's funeral ... but I'm not in a good mood today.

Maybe tomorrow.

Peace out.

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