current entry older entries message board contact
6:37 a.m. - 2004-01-22


Hey all.

First, thanks for all the well wishes. I appreciate every kind word and prayer sent my way yesterday.

Second, it looks like most of you have figured out what's going on tomorrow.

A colonoscopy.

I want to clear one thing up ... I don't THINK I have cancer. The doctor is doing this as a precaution because he didn't like what he found in my butt.

Or ... as he put it ... "It looks like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre in here!"

So I have to be on a liquid diet (no alcohol ... sorry) for two days.

Which is basically coffee (don't drink), tea (don't drink), water (drink), soft drinks (drink), diet drinks like Ensure (don't drink), clear broths (never drank until yesterday) and the one saving grace in all this ... fat free ice cream (eat like a mofo).

I'm now starting my second day.

And I honestly have no idea how I'm going to make it to the end of this day without gnawing a finger off or something.

I ate half a gallon of chocolate fudge fat free ice cream for dinner last night.

And lost three pounds yesterday.

Go me.

Today, I have to do what everyone says is the worst part of this whole thing.

I have to drink a gallon of this chalky, nasty stuff that ... for lack of a better term ... makes me shit my bowels out.

So tonight, I will be a cranky bastard because I'm starving and have had a throbbing headache for two days.

I have to drink a gallon o' crap that will leave me in the bathroom all night.

And here's the clincher ... I have to watch Andrew all night by myself since Susie's going to a seminar that she can't get her money back from.

I have no idea how I'm going to watch a kid who wants me to play trains or cards all night and NOT go potty.

Moral of the story?

Take care of your asses, kids.

53 comments so far
The last one/The next one

NEW!!!Come and write some BAD EROTICA with the cool kids!

My Diaryland Trading Card
Now go write a Suck Ass Poem�
Write me a note here.
Read my notes here.
Hey! Take the Uncle Bob Quiz!
What the hell! May as well take the wildly popular Uncle Bob Second Quiz too!
Thanks Diaryland
Designed by Lisa


Have you read these?

The End Of Uncle Bob - 12:28 p.m. , 2009-02-19

Losing Focus While Trying To Write A Blog Entry Is Cool. - 1:47 p.m. , 2008-12-04

Buck Up Junior, You Could Be Digging Ditches - 11:36 p.m. , 2008-10-31

That Sinking Feeling - 6:09 a.m. , 2008-10-28

Return Of The Karate Kid And His Slow Kitty-Lovin' Accomplice - 5:44 a.m. , 2008-10-22

Sign up for my Notify List and get email when I update!

powered by

Click on the button below to order the book "Never Threaten To Eat Your Co-Workers: Best of Blogs" featuring Uncle Bob.
You WON'T be sorry.


Read a random entry of mine.