STUFF YOU COULD HAVE LIVED YOUR WHOLE LIFE WITHOUT KNOWING

I'm soooo glad Prince has made a comeback even though he gets pissed if you call it a comeback.

I was the hugest, biggest, gigantic Caucasian Prince fan back in the day. I bought anything and everything the man released or was released about the man.

I even bought albums that were "rumored" to be him ... like the jazz group Madhouse and projects he had done when he was a kid that were issued by people trying to make a buck off him.

I saw "Purple Rain" 10 times in the theater. I watch it today and it's hokey as all get out, but I think I only went for the music portions. The story and acting sucked dry moose balls.

I bought his new disc "Musicology" last week.

It's not that great.

Still, people are paying attention to him once again and I'm happy for that.

God bless ya, Princey.

You will always be my man.

...Just ... you know ... not sexually or anything.

Speaking of music stuff, apparently the new clubs that I'm over are most impressed with my DJ talents which makes me very warm inside.

One of the club managers wants me to do a private party tomorrow night for Cinco de Mayo.

It pays $75 an hour.

I'm all about the private parties.

She also wants me to fire the DJ with the attitude and take her place immediately.

Technically, I said I would fire the girl yesterday.

But I still haven't.

This girl really got the short end of the stick in all this and as much as I'd like to give her a chance, her attitude is horrible and she's NOT a DJ. Her idea of DJ'ing is putting a CD in the player and letting it play until it's through. She brings three discs with her to work and one of those is Billy Joel's Greatest Hits while another is a Richie Sambora disc.

Yes, the disc Richie made during his heralded solo career. The disc that sold all of 31 copies.

This DJ has one of those copies.

Anywhooo ... I hate firing people unless they absolutely deserve it. I mean, if they really cross my shit, I don't have a problem with it. But she hasn't crossed my shit and I feel bad having to let her go.

It's about $400 a week more in my pocket if I DO let her go.

So I can get over the feeling bad part, I guess.

Yeah ... so anyway ... I cleaned up one of the DJ booths in one of the clubs yesterday and there was a whole cabinet full of music videos from the 90s and early 2000s.

I called my boss in Texas and he said to pitch 'em, we don't use videos anymore, we use DVDs.

There's 150 videotapes with 15 videos on each tape.

I'm selling the shit.

Country, Rock and Dance videos ... 150 tapes ... $150.

I'd put 'em on Ebay but these things weigh about 100 lbs. And I'd rather just list them in our local buy-sell-trade magazine and have some dipshit come pick them up then have to carry this box one more time.

But I was looking at some of the titles and there's some really good stuff on some of them. Vintage Smashing Pumpkins and stuff like that.

Yeah.

So anyway.

As a celebration of my liberation from the grueling world of telemarketing, I got a shitload of stuff done yesterday.

I slow cooked some ribs that were so tender they fell off the bone.

I cleaned up the den, dining room and kitchen.

I filled out paperwork for my new job, took that to both clubs and got it signed by the managers.

I cleaned both DJ booths.

I mowed the yard and edged the sidewalk and driveway.

I ordered two books on wild club promotions off the internet and corresponded with one of my DJ heroes via email which made my peter swell with glee.

I was a good daddy and husband.

I lined up work for the rest of the week.

I sent my Mom a birthday card and Mother's Day card.

I pencilled in a wedding for June.

I fucking rocked.

Today?

I'm kicking back and relaxing.

I've got to get one last quote for a story I wrote last week.

I've got to download some Latin music for the Cinco de Mayo party tomorrow.

I need to clean this office up and maybe a bathroom or two.

Other than that, it's gonna be a "chill zee fuck out" day.

Jes' the way I like it.