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8:41 a.m. - 2004-05-12


Yesterday, the annoying neighbor kid showed up at my doorstep.

"Uncle Bob, can you put a song on CD for me?" he asked.

"Sure," I said, glad that his request for the day was a simple one and not something like "Can I sit in your lap and squirm seductively" because if there's one thing I despise, it's the neighborhood kids trying to seduce me.

(Cut me some slack ... I got 3.5 hours of sleep last night and it's all your fault. Well ... not really. But before you got all outraged with me, I thought I'd try to guilt you first. Suffice to say it didn't work and we shall just move on, hokay?)

So he says "Let me go get the song, it's in my Mom's car!"

I say "Okay" and I wait impatiently for the little runt to come back.

Thirty seconds pass and he comes back with a piece of paper.

I thought I was dubbing a CD.


The kid's friend has written a song and our neighborhood Dennis The Menace is now in a new band called "The Christians" made up of three 8 year-old boys with no musical talents whatsoever.

And because Dennis has the experience of actually holding a microphone in his hands at one time, he's been designated as the singer of the band.

This is all news to me. Granted, it's not earth-shattering news, but still.

So I hook up practically every audio component I have in order to give this kid what he wants.

We go through several different takes on the song before the kid finds one that he's happy with.

And in the end, the song is about as horrendous as you might imagine.

Soooooo ...

Click here to hear one of the better versions of the song "Jesus Is My Homey".

WARNING: Listening to this song may cause epileptic seizures and possible fractured relationships with Jesus Christ. Listener discretion is advised.

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NEW!!!Come and write some BAD EROTICA with the cool kids!

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