WE INTERUPT YOUR NORMALLY SCHEDULED STUPIDITY TO BRING YOU A SPECIAL SERIOUS BULLETIN

I need your help, o' trusty Unclebob Heads.

Today, I got a "job" that I've been wanting for years. It's a job that I was born to do.

The only problem is I was caught offguard.

I was asked to help pick out entertainment for my city's three day music festival coming up on Memorial Day weekend in May.

I need to come up with a list of musical entertainers that would draw nice sized crowds at the cheapest prices possible.

Now then.

I KNOW most of you are a bit younger than me...so ... question....

WHO WOULD YOU PAY TO COME TO AN OUTDOOR MUSIC FESTIVAL TO HEAR PLAY LIVE?

Here's the rules...

1) IT can NOT be a huge band like Limp Biskit, Korn or the Rolling Stones. We can't afford that stuff. To give you a rule of thumb...two years ago, Sister Hazel headlined a stage. Last year, Big Head Todd and the Monsters played.

The names mentioned today were Matthew Sweet and Better Than Ezra....which would YOU rather see live??

In a nutshell, we can't afford huge bands, but we can afford bands that open for huge bands. Not big Dave Matthews type of bands...smaller bands that haven't hit the big time yet.

2) The act has to be somewhat family-oriented. R&B is cool, but no rap. No speed or death metal. Personally...I'd love to see a Fatboy Slim-rave type thing, but we are the buckle of the Bible Belt and I have to remember that.

3) I don't know crap about new country artists...if you do, pick a few you like and make a list.

4) The Festival is HEAVY on hasbeen artists. People who were huge 20-30 years ago.

The past few years, we've had the Pointer Sisters, Cheap Trick, The Temptations, Little Richard, Clint Black, Beth Nielsen Chapman, Sister Hazel, Third Eye Blind, and hundreds more.

Make a list and mail it to me at

[email protected]

I need these lists by Monday.

I have a list right now that includes....The Black Crowes,John Lee Hooker, Joan Jett, Village People, Eddie Money, George Thorogood, The Smithereens, Brian Setzer, Eve 6, Third Eye Blind, Foreigner, Jethro Tull, Bad Company, Journey, Heart, Meat Loaf, Tom Waits, Winger, Hall & Oates, Rick Springfield, Boz Scaggs and Dash Rip Rock.

Soooo....yer turn.....

[email protected]

If I've ever made you smile...now is your turn to pay my sorry ass back. You may not want to admit you read me ... but we both know ya do, so swallow your pride, take the time and email me with your musical selections, no matter how offbeat you may think they may be.

Thank ya love...We'll be back to your regularly scheduled hilarity next entry.