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5 a.m. - 2000-11-01


What did I say??


Yes...I'm talking to YOU!

Right up there in the black and white...


Yet, I got dozens of emails and messages yesterday saying "I cried reading your diary yesterday".

(Uncle Bob just shakes his head)

What am I supposed to tell the King of Prussia when my army comes to invade his country?

"Oh...ummmm...jeez....we were gonna invade you and all...but...I'VE GOTTA BUNCHA CRYBABIES IN MY ARMY!!! They're all back there about a hundred yards in a blubbering heap. Would you mind if we invaded you nicely? And do you have any Kleenex handy?"


...buncha sissies...


Seriously ... thanks for all the kind input on my entry yesterday. I must confess ... I originally wrote that on Monday to use as my weekly column at the newspaper. I had the general gist of the column in my head for a few days and originally it wasn't going to have any smart assed comments in it at all, I wanted something totally serious.

But that's the way it came out. Que sera sera.

There's NO WAY I can respond to all the nice letters y'all wrote yesterday ... I just don't have time. But I read every single one of them and they all meant as much to me as the entry meant to you.

"Gee Uncle Bob...what do you MEAN you don't have time??"



Susie's "due date" (i.e. Doctor's tee time) was moved up from Thursday to today. She went in yesterday for a checkup and he basically told her...the kid is healthy and more than ready and there's no more putting it off. 2 p.m. today ... we check in.

I'm excited. Not ecstatic ... just excited. His birth is inevitable and I'm just tired of waiting.

Susie on the other hand...heeheehee...

She cried last night...scared to death of the pain that will be coming shortly. Y'see ... I married a wuss. Her threshold of pain tops off at a bee sting. That's the most she can handle.

...Soooo...she's apprehensive as hell about this birthing thing.

I tried to calm her down ... the epidural will leave her numb to the point where she won't feel a thing ... EVERYONE on this earth had a mother who gave birth to them...she's NOT the first woman to give birth ... it will ALL be worth it when she holds Andy for the first time...

...But the tears kept coming.

Hey...YOU try to explain to little kids in their Halloween garb why the big fat lady is bawling while handing out Reese's Cups. Those kids are probably scarred for life now.

"We took that fat lady's last Reese's cups."

"I know. Did you see her crying??"

"Yeah. Man...I feel horrible now."

She finally calmed down after I forced her to start calling friends and family to tell them we're going in today. By the end of the night, she was calm and cool and somewhat collected.

I have to go in to the office this morning and clean up my desk somewhat, so whoever's going to be doing my job in my absence can at least find things there.

I was told when I first got into the newspaper business so many years ago that a TRUE newspaperman's desk is ALWAYS cluttered. So I took that as carte blanche to always keep my desk as messy as possible.

Then it's off to the hospital.

For those of you who pray, keep us in your prayers. For those of you who don't...keep your fingers crossed.

All I want is a healthy baby. The doc says he's healthy. I don't want any birth defects or difficult pregnancy.

It's actually kinda scary in a way. But my newfound faith tells me everything's gonna be cool.


I'm soooooo happy for my friend Brad F'n Pitt . That website that he contributes to... Mighty Big TV was written up in this week's Entertainment Weekly magazine.

You lucky bastards can read the write-up here .

He called me up late last night to share his enthusiasm with me.

BRAD: "Hey dude...guess what?"

ME: "What Pittster?"

BRAD: "Entertainment Weekly reviewed the Mighty Big TV site and gave us an A!"

ME: (trying to act interested) "Wow man. Too cool."

BRAD: "I KNOW! I'm over here just jumping around the room, dude!"

ME: "Why is this such a big deal, Pitt? You get written up and reviewed in EW at least once a month?"


ME: "Ahhh. That makes sense. Well, congratulations man."


ME: "Uh huh. Hey...Susie and I are going in to the hospital tomorrow to have a baby."

BRAD: "An A!! Can you believe this shit?? They call Mighty Big TV 'The Industry Standard'!!! I WRITE for them, man!!!"

ME: "Ummmm...yeah. Hey Pittster ... I've gotta go, dude."


ME: "Yeah Brad. I'm tickled for ya. You deserve it all, dude. Look...I've gotta go...I've got to pack my bags."

BRAD: "They said we're the Industry Stan...."


Soooo...check it out. Brad's thrilled and self-centered.


I had to turn down the opportunity to interview Charlie Daniels yesterday.

"The Devil Went Down To Georgia?"

C'mon kids...Primus covered it for chrissakes...

Anyway ... the interview was scheduled for Friday and I would be busy hugging my new family at that point so I gave the assignment to my intern, who's positively giddy about the deal. Apparently her husband is a big Charlie Daniels fan and she said he's going to poop himself when he finds out she gets to interview him.

...That's one wack assed hubby...


That's about it from your Uncle Bob. Keep me and my family close to your heart over the next 24 hours. I can't give you a definite time when I'll be updating this again.

But like Arnold once said...

"I'll be back."


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