THE SIS DISCOVERS THE INTERNET, STAMPING SITES HITS GO THROUGH THE ROOF

Hey you.

I can NOT get the song "Welcome To The Dollhouse" out of my head this morning.

You know...the song from the movie??

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE?!?!?

Damn you, you ... you...you HEATHEN!!

GO RENT THE MOVIE!!!

If you've seen it ... we coo'...we coo'.

I don't have much time to write here, as I slept in (it's cold as a mofo here this morning...didn't feel like getting up)and plus, my sis and her boyfriend are here...asleep right now, but that could all change at the drop of a hat.

So yesterday, this sis and her boyfriend got here about noon-ish. Haven't seen her since May and haven't seen him since 1997.

They're doing good, thanks for asking.

But damn...SOMEBODY needs to buy them a computer.

They were on this computer ALL afternoon.

Surfing the web, playing games, watching DVDs...

My sis is starting to feel out of it because she doesn't have a computer. She says everyone asks her for her email address and when she says she doesn't have one, they treat her like a leper.

Or a 30-year-old that likes the Backstreet Boys. Take your pick.

So hopefully, she'll wise up and buy herself one.

We went to check out Mattie Gee's band The Spicolis late yesterday afternoon as they played a local Octoberfest.

Man...I am SOOO glad to be married.

There were so many people there just there to get laid.

Making asses of themselves. Drinking way too much and grinding all over each other while a guy playing acoustic guitar sang Willie Nelson's "She's a Good Hearted Woman".

"She's a good hearted woman in love with her two-timing man..."

"Hey sailor! Wanna come hump my inner thigh?? The guy's playing Willie!!"

A bunch of us were getting quite a kick out of watching the shenanigans go on. It's amazing how alcohol can just lower someone's inhibitions to such a degree that they'll simulate anal sex in front of a crowd of people in broad daylight and not think a thing of it.

Then again...we're talking Alabama here. These people don't have many brain cells to kill to begin with.

I videotaped half of the band's set. They went on an hour late and by that time Susie, my sis, her boyfriend and I were starving, so we left to go eat.

We decided to eat at a place called Sinclair's. It's a local restaurant ... kinda swanky, but good food and decent prices.

...Until last night...

When we arrived, it was 7 p.m. on a Saturday night. We knew we'd have to sign a waiting list.

Nope. We were seated instantly in a restaurant that was MAYBE a quarter full.

We were handed our menus and I about shit.

Sinclair's had jacked their prices up through the roof.

The steak I normally ate...a $13.95 filet...was now $19.95.

I'm no mathematician ... but I think that's like a 200% increase or something!!

Everything on the menu was now like that. The soup that used to be $2.50 that my wife likes so much for an appetizer was now $4.95.

For a bowl of freakin' SOUP!!

We had already ordered our drinks or we would have gotten up and left with me wagging my finger at our server and blaming him for the price increase personally.

So we decided to just order appetizers, split them, and go somewhere more reasonable.

We ate the appetizers, got out of there for $25 and left and went to VITTORIO'S!!!

Mama mia!!

Papa pia!!

Baby's got the diarrhea!!

Of course, by this time it's 8 p.m., we're all tired, cold and hungry.

...And THIS TIME we had to wait in line to be seated.

"Excuse me, my wife is very pregnant. Can we be jumped to the front of the waiting list?"

"Ummmmm....no."

That meal was tres good.

My sis's boyfriend has a new job that he was sharing some horror stories from.

A seventh grade social studies teacher.

Jeebus ... there's NO WAY I would ever want to teach after hearing his stories.

The kids have NO RESPECT for him at all. They jump up and run around the class while he's trying to teach and they tell him "We're going to get you in trouble with the principal" almost daily.

Why??

Because they know they can't be touched by anyone in the school system.

When I WAS GROWING UP...(Oh God...here he goes again)... if you acted like a loose monkey from the zoo, your ass got hauled down to the principal's office and got paddled with a wooden paddle that was DESIGNED to bring you pain.

And guess what?? NOBODY acted up in school.

Discipline baby. It makes the world go 'round.

Came home last night ... Sis and boyfriend jumped on the Internet and looked up stamping tips.

Stamping.

That little craft where you take a rubber stamp and stamp designs on things.

Ummmmm...you need TIPS for this??

I've got a suggestion, sis. Maybe you need to take up a hobby that's not so demanding. Like breathing, for instance.

Jeez Louise.

Ooops. She's up and wants to look up Napster tunes now.

Talk to ya's tomorrow.