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4:26 a.m. - 2004-10-14

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN AT 4 A.M.


I am willing to bet good money that if doctors had just taken a few hours to perform an autopsy on Christopher Reeve, they would have found traces of Kryptonite in his blood stream.

Call it a hunch.



I have come up with a way to make a lot of extra money.

I'm going to buy a white lab coat and go to an old folks home.

Once I'm there, I'm going to burst through the doors, yelling "FLU SHOTS! GET YOUR FLU SHOTS! DON'T WANNA DIE THIS WINTER! FLU SHOTS RIGHT HERE!"

Now then ... with the shortage of flu shots out there, the old folks will be hobbling over to me as fast as their spindly old legs can carry them.

Then, I'll give each of them a flu shot and only charge 'em $50 apiece rather than the going rate of $100.

But here's the catch ...

I'm not really giving them a flu shot. I'm only injecting water into their veins.

I was thinking about using heroin instead and getting them all junked up on the white horse strictly due to the repeat business factor of stopping by twice a day to give them their "flu shots".

But heroin's just so damned expensive lately and tap water isn't.

So it's the low overhead factor that I have to consider at this time.

I'm telling you guys ... I have a knack for this business shit.

You just throw the word "factor" out there a couple of times and people will think you're a CEO or something.


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