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17:47:42 - 2000-04-20

D-DAY

God.

The day I've dreaded is here.

Tonight we tell Susie's family that we're pregnant.

Usually that wouldn't be a big deal.

But her Dad will be here.

I've seen her Dad one time in 14 years and that was 14 years ago.

He came through town (he lives in California) and we all had lunch together. No big deal, I kinda liked the guy.

A few months before we got married, Susie woke up screaming and terrified.

She cried for a while without telling me what was bothering her and then finally she said she had a confession to make. She did not want her father at our wedding.

For one thing, her Mom refused to come to our wedding if her ex-husband was going to be there.

For another...apparently her dad was an abusive man while she was growing up and scarred Susie for life.

And I really don't want to go into any more detail to it than that.

After Susie told me all this stuff on that night 12 years ago, it was up to me to call her father long distance and tell him he wasn't wanted at our wedding.

He was hurt and shocked and wondered why.

As much as I hated to even mention it, I brought up the abuse that he inflicted on Susie.

He knew what I was talking about and tried to deny it and I got

DOWNRIGHT UGLY

with the man.

I told him to "keep his fucking ass in California" and "never show your face around my wife again".

He understood our wishes and did not come to the wedding.

Susie thanked me for standing up to her dad and told me she never wanted to see him again.

And here we are 12 years later.

In the last few years, Susie has started making contact with her dad again. He's come to town a few times and she's gone to visit him when he was in town.

I always had excuses why I couldn't go.

The truth is...I did NOT want to be in this man's presence.

I still don't.

Susie has become born again and lives by the rule "forgive and forget".

I still strongly feel the same way I did 12 years ago...I don't want this man in our life. I rarely forgive and I never forget.

But...it's her dad. And if she can forgive him for his past record, I'm supposed to too.

Tough shit.

I'm usually a very nice guy. Personable, fun, energetic.

But I don't have an ounce of fun left in me right now.

I'm really fucking dreading tonight. Everyone else has seen her father in the last year except me. He hasn't seen me since 1986.

If he thinks we have a lot of Father/Son-in-law catching up to do, he's so fucking wrong.

I plan on saying hello, shaking his hand and moving far, far away from him for the rest of the evening.

Ever since that night 12 years ago that Susie laid in my arms and cried and told me every thing her father had ever done to her I have promised myself I would seriously hurt this man if I ever saw him again.

He's now nearing 70 years old which makes matters even better since I hate old people anyway and it will make slapping his ass around that much easier.

I sincerely hope if y'all love yer Uncle Bob as much as you say you do, you'll come bail my ass out for manslaughter.

Sorry this wasn't funny. I'm sincerely not in a funny mood. I debated posting this entry and really feel like I shouldn't since it chips away at the Uncle Bob myth of being "Fun Boy 24-7".

But hey...it's a myth, kids. Live with it.

The one cool part...Susie's mom and dad are both supposed to be there, and neither knows the other will be there.

So there will definitely be some fireworks there.

Which may take the heat off my situation.

Ah fuck. I'm outta here. Wish me luck.

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