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5:58 a.m. - 2003-11-07


1) I masturbate to autopsy photos of Lisa "Third Eye" Lopes.

2) I've had sex with my cousin. Before she lost all that weight on the Atkins Diet.

3) I videotaped an orgy with the Hilton Sisters and the Olsen Twins.

4) My semen has been chunky lately. Gallstones, anyone?

5) I have a horny sister. Not that I've ever helped her relieve sexual tension. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

6) I wear adult diapers. But not for the reasons you would think.

7) Uncle Bob's Diary is lame.

8) I enjoy tickling my ass with feathers aimlessly while watching Martha Stewart.

9) Eliza Dushku once gave me a blow job in a Turkish bath while the midgets from "The Wizard of Oz" cheered, and, of course, masturbated.

10) My penis is bigger than Milton Berle's penis.

I know I've given the guy a lot of crap here lately, but Genghis Jon could really use some loving today.

I cannot imagine what the guy's going through right now.

After reading his entry today, it made me go in to my son's bedroom, hug him and take a really long look at his face.

I'm outta here...gotta go rock the casbah. Rock the casbah.

You guys have a great weekend.

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