current entry older entries message board contact
5:36 a.m. - 2004-02-17



So I got a job yesterday.

It's nothing I'm proud of. But it pays the bills.

Basically, I'm a male stripper.

I'll dress up as a cop, go to bachelorette parties and strip down to a thong while singing "Macho Man".

I've been practicing.

Hopefully I won't get fired the first week.

Actually, that was a lame attempt at a joke.

I'll be deejaying in two nightclubs here in town starting next week.

This guy owns two clubs and needs a deejay to work both clubs. One plays dance music and the other one plays more classic rock and country.

It's good money and I'll only need to work 4-5 hours a night, going in at 8 p.m.

I'm telling myself it's only temporary until a more professional job with regular hours comes open.

But the lure of easy money for a job whose only responsibility is to get people to get drunk and dance may be too strong for me to walk away from when the time comes.

We'll see.

I've got a sales job if I want it.

But I completely suck at sales.

I'd be working with several longtime friends at the job in a business that I worked in several years ago.

I think I'm going to politely turn it down for now.

But once again ... we'll see.

I went out yesterday and handed out business cards for my mobile DJ business to wedding planners and other assorted folk.

I've decided on a somewhat unique approach to getting business.

Basically, I hand you several business cards.

You spread the word about my business.

For each party I line up that you got for me, I pay you $100 cash.

Susie thinks I'm nuts.

And this may backfire on me.

But I charge $400 with no time limit to my party.

I feel like I can afford to pay someone $100 of that if they refer someone to me.

It's a Finders Fee.

And it actually made people sit up and take notice yesterday.

One guy at a Wedding Center had tons of brochures and business cards on his counter.

When I told him that I would pay him $100 for each customer he sent my way that booked a party, he cleared all the brochures and business cards away and put my cards in the front.

It's easy money for him.

I figure I'll do this through 2004.

In 2005, I may drop the Finder's Fee to $50.

Which is still good money for doing nothing more than handing someone a business card.

Hopefully this will work, it'll get my business up and running and I'll be able to spread the wealth a bit to others.

If not, I've always got a prescription for Zoloft.

Speaking of which, I've got to run to the doctor this morning for a 7:30 appointment.

I have no idea why. I guess it's technically a follow-up to my last appointment with him.

Hopefully he'll be able to show willpower and not cram his hand up my butt.

I'm in no mood for anal probes this morning.

14 comments so far
The last one/The next one

NEW!!!Come and write some BAD EROTICA with the cool kids!

My Diaryland Trading Card
Now go write a Suck Ass Poem�
Write me a note here.
Read my notes here.
Hey! Take the Uncle Bob Quiz!
What the hell! May as well take the wildly popular Uncle Bob Second Quiz too!
Thanks Diaryland
Designed by Lisa


Have you read these?

The End Of Uncle Bob - 12:28 p.m. , 2009-02-19

Losing Focus While Trying To Write A Blog Entry Is Cool. - 1:47 p.m. , 2008-12-04

Buck Up Junior, You Could Be Digging Ditches - 11:36 p.m. , 2008-10-31

That Sinking Feeling - 6:09 a.m. , 2008-10-28

Return Of The Karate Kid And His Slow Kitty-Lovin' Accomplice - 5:44 a.m. , 2008-10-22

Sign up for my Notify List and get email when I update!

powered by

Click on the button below to order the book "Never Threaten To Eat Your Co-Workers: Best of Blogs" featuring Uncle Bob.
You WON'T be sorry.


Read a random entry of mine.