current entry older entries message board contact
06:07:53 - 2000-02-18

Uncle Bob will lay the smack down on your candy ass if you're less than 18 years old and sneak in here. I was a green beret in World War II. I can snap your neck like a baby kitten. And DON'T think I won't. Have a great day!!


Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo dick hurts.

Yesterday, I was peeing, and I had to sneeze while I peed.

Well, I have a habit of suppressing my sneezes (not good). So as I peed, I suppressed a sneeze.

...That was a very foolish move, Mr. Bond.

I can't really put it into words, but the force that I had behind the sneeze had to be let out of my body somewhere. Since I didn't use the mouth, the force had to find another open area to leave. about my pee hole?

The sneeze nearly crippled me. It felt like I peed a fireball. I'm SURE my pee hole reached four inches in diameter when that damned sneeze came out my dick.

The pain was overwhelming. Plus, there was urine EVERYWHERE at this point.

I tried to decide if I should mop up the urine or if I should pass out.

I mopped up the urine, frantically rubbing my lil' Bob, trying to get him to feel better and make the pain go away.

No such luck. Do you see a woman give birth and then 15 seconds later be ready to run a marathon?

Or even mop up a puddle of errant urine??

Nope. Because of the PAIN.

So, already I'm better than most women, because I just shot fire out my dick and STILL found the energy to clean up pee.

Now...everytime I pee, it feels like I'm trying to pee a turtle.

So...I'm trying not to pee.

Actually...I'm pretty sure this is a bladder infection. I've been sucking down Coca-Cola like it's going out of style lately and that ain't a cool thing to do to your bladder.

I know this because I've had this before.

But it was never brought on by my penis sneezin'.

Well Bob...I'm no doctor...but....

If ya wanna check out my other website, updated daily with a REAL diary PLUS my diary this day in 1980 click here

This Diaryland Ring of Wackos site is owned by Rip Taylor.
Previous 5 Sites Previous Next Next 5 Sites Randomizer List All Members

Tell me everything's going to be alright.

0 comments so far
The last one/The next one

NEW!!!Come and write some BAD EROTICA with the cool kids!

My Diaryland Trading Card
Now go write a Suck Ass Poem™
Write me a note here.
Read my notes here.
Hey! Take the Uncle Bob Quiz!
What the hell! May as well take the wildly popular Uncle Bob Second Quiz too!
Thanks Diaryland
Designed by Lisa


Have you read these?

The End Of Uncle Bob - 12:28 p.m. , 2009-02-19

Losing Focus While Trying To Write A Blog Entry Is Cool. - 1:47 p.m. , 2008-12-04

Buck Up Junior, You Could Be Digging Ditches - 11:36 p.m. , 2008-10-31

That Sinking Feeling - 6:09 a.m. , 2008-10-28

Return Of The Karate Kid And His Slow Kitty-Lovin' Accomplice - 5:44 a.m. , 2008-10-22

Sign up for my Notify List and get email when I update!

powered by

Click on the button below to order the book "Never Threaten To Eat Your Co-Workers: Best of Blogs" featuring Uncle Bob.
You WON'T be sorry.


Read a random entry of mine.